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The Most Powerful Sexual Tool We Have
An interview with sex educator Violet Blue about her new book, The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy
Violet Blue is one of the preeminent sex educators in America today. Her best-selling guides to fellatio and cunnilingus have helped thousands discover and deepen their enjoyment of oral sex. Her book The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos has enthusiastically introduced many to the joys of watching porn. And her collections of erotica for couples, Taboo and the Sweet Life series, have found a place on nightstands everywhere. In her latest book, Violet turns her full attention to sexual imagination and teaches us how to explore fantasies alone or with a lover.
CLEIS: What inspired you to write a book about sexual fantasy?
VIOLET BLUE: Sexual fantasy is the core of our sexuality, and an integral part of who we are—the most powerful sexual tool we have. I was inspired by the success of the Sweet Life and Taboo anthologies, collections of fictional erotic stories where couples explicitly try out their number-one sexual fantasies. I wanted to take that concept even further. The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy is a guidebook primarily for couples, but also for singles with a focus on women. You get to decide if you want to keep fantasies in the day-dream, imaginary state—or go "all the way" and make them real.
C: What advice would you give to a sexual fantasy novice—someone who is just beginning to tap into what turns them on?
VB: Follow your fantasies, let them run their course—they’re teaching you what turns you on, and how to get yourself off in reliable and powerful ways.
C: Your books are unique in their inclusive approach to sexuality. You write for everyone—young, old, straight, gay, bisexual, women, men. Why did you choose this approach?
VB: My friends have started calling it the Linux or "open source" approach to sex ed. This means it's not a closed system—I've chosen to write about sex information in a way that is open to whomever chooses to use it. As a girl with a constantly evolving sexuality, I know that a straight woman reading a book now, might pick up the book next year with bisexual curiosities. I want my books to stand the test of time in people’s lives.
C: Do you think your open approach has changed the way people think about sex?
VB: I want to make a lasting contribution to the way we all talk about sex, and hopefully my books—the presentation of the information and the unflinching approach to the content—have added a bit of spark to our collective conversations about sex. I've gotten heaps of praise for my all-orientations approach to sex education, and it's sparked lively debate on the Web, in blogs, and it comes up in interviews as well.
C: You have a section in The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy about Internet sex. How do you think the Internet has changed our sexual fantasies?
VB: It has absolutely exploded our sexual fantasies in ways we could have hardly thought possible. I feel that the Web has changed the way we have sex more than anything yet, possibly more than religion. And it's really only just begun.
C: Right now seems such a ripe time for exploring women's sexuality. Why is do you think that is?
VB: Women just aren't just sitting around and waiting for what turns them on—they're hunting it down, or creating it themselves, and savoring every word, every photo, every frame, every last drop of what excites them. And that's exciting.
More books by Violet Blue
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